RENT a Mall
by Marcie Cohen
Summary: Our favorite bohos find themselves stranded in the Mall of America while looking for Mark's beloved scarf. Crackfic hilarity insues.
1. Through the Wardrobe

RENT-a-Mall

By MarcieCohen

DISCLAMER: The Almighty Larson owns all. I merely mess with his characters.

Chapter 1- Through the Wardrobe

It was winter in the East Village in New York City and to a certain group of residents of an apartment complex on Avenue B, that usually signaled the worst time of the year. It was so cold in the third-floor loft that Angel, Collins, Mimi, Joanne, Maureen, Roger, and Mark often had to wear coats, scarves and gloves indoors. That particular day, however, their landlord and friend Benny had made sure that the heat was working properly as the group celebrated the repeal of their eviction notices.

Benny had just invited them to lunch and they were all very eager to get going. "Hey, Roger," Mark asked, "Have you seen my scarf?" "No," his best friend replied, "You probably left it somewhere. Try the wardrobe over there." Roger pointed to a large carved wooden wardrobe in the corner of the loft's common room. "Why would I have left it in there?" Mark inquired. "Oh, well, guess it's worth a look."

He opened the wardrobe, but it was empty. Mark continued to grope around in the huge wardrobe, looking for his favorite blue-and-white scarf but seeing nothing. When he reached the back. However, what he saw made him gasp in shock.

"Mark?" Roger called. "Mark Cohen, get out here this minute," demanded Maureen. "This is NOT funny!" Roger sighed and climbed into the wardrobe after his friend, guessing that Mark was playing some stupid prank again. When he finally bumped headlong into Mark, knocking off the young filmmaker's glasses, he couldn't believe his eyes either. Staggering a bit from shock, he made his way to the door. "Mimi," Roger said tentatively to his girlfriend, "I think there's a mall in our wardrobe."

Mimi raised an eyebrow, exchanging disbelieving looks with Maureen. "Rog, I hate to say it, but I think you've read _The Chronicles of Narnia_ one too many times," she said. At that moment, Benny burst into the loft.

"What's taking so long?" he asked, ignorant of the "you must be crazy" looks the others were aiming in Roger's general direction. Catching sight of the wardrobe, Benny quickly added, "And where did you get THAT monstrosity?" "It's not ours," Collins said defensively. "You brought is back along with the rest of our stuff." Benny thought for a moment, then remembered. "Oh, yeah. It belonged to some old guy. Dogberry or something like that. I was gonna sell it to an antique shop. Are we going soon or what?"

"Yeah," Roger replied, "Once Mark finds his precious scarf." Roger went back into the wardrobe to find Mark after calling him a few more times and getting no reply.

After Roger and Mark had not reappeared for quite a while, Mimi decided she'd better go into the wardrobe and drag them out herself. The others liked this plan and joined her. To the girls' (and Angel's) delight and the men's (and Joanne's) chagrin, when they reached the back of the wardrobe, they were indeed at the entrance to a huge shopping mall. On the doors in front of them, a logo announced that they were entering the Mall of America.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" shouted Maureen to cheers from Mimi and Angel and groans from the quys and Joanne, "Let's shop 'til we drop!" She pushed the door open and strode inside. She didn't get much further, thouogh, before Mimi stopped short, staring.


	2. Somewhere Over the TimeSpace Continuum

Chapter 2- Somewhere Over the Time-Space Continuum

Disclaimer: Larson owns. 'Nuff said.

"Mimi?" Roger called, backtracking to join his girlfriend. "What's wrong?" asked Benny, looking a bit worried. Mimi, still staring, just turned pale and pointed tremulously at a newspaper on the top of a stack in a shop window. Benny laughed.

"You're scared of a newspaper? Nice one, Meems! You really had us going for a minute there!" "Guys?" Collins interjected, "Take a look at the date." "It's October first, 1989," Mark said, ever punctual. He checked his watch. "12:36 pm, Eastern Standard Time, to be exact."

They all kept staring at the newspaper. Mark, completely nonplussed, joined the huddle. The newspaper actually read October first, 2007. "Well, Toto," said Mimi shakily, "We're not in Kansas anymore." "You know," Mark chimed in, "Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to…" "We know!" chorused the others, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Well, as long as we're here, we might as well shop," suggested Maureen again. The girls and Angel responded with a hearty "Hear, hear!" and several passing female shoppers laughed to see the men and Joanne slumped over in dismay. "Well, let's get this over with," Joanne said, seemingly resigned to the worst.

"How about this: Maureen and I will go THAT way, Mimi and Roger, you go THAT way. Mark and Angel, you take the other two directions." "Well meet back here at," she gave Mark a sarcastic look, "3 pm Eastern Standard Time to be exact," she mocked his voice, "for lunch. Sound good?" The others nodded and went on their way. This was going to be an interesting day.


	3. Here We Go LibbyLu

Chapter 3- Here We Go Libby-Lu

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, and I only act as twisted puppeteer to the characters.

AN: This chapter explains the origins of Angel's favorite blue nail polish. Yes, I know that's in the movie, not the play, but I thought it was cute.

After saying goodbye to Collins, Angel decided she could use some new nail polish. The best place to look, she reflected, was probably in one of the teen stores. After checking Claire's (too much pink), Icing (too tacky), and Hot Topic (all black), she took a look inside Club Libby-Lu.

The first thing Angel noticed was a girl looking at a rack of t-shirts unable to choose one. Angel looked at the shirts and then at the girl. She was tall and slim with long black hair and gold-colored skin. The t-shirts the girl was looking at went terribly with that skin tone! Angel frowned. Something had to be done before this girl created a fashion disaster.

On a shelf to the left, Angel spotted a gorgeous turquoise top that would be absolutely perfect. "Hey, hon?" Angel addressed the girl who did a double-take at Angel's unusual appearance, "That shirt over there would really be stunning on you. It's just your color." Angel pointed out the shirt to the girl who selected the right size and dashed into the dressing room. After a few minutes, the girl re-emerged carrying the turquoise shirt. "You're right! It's perfect. Thanks!" She bought the shirt and left the store.

Another girl was browsing the accessories. Angel, busy unwrapping a filmy pink scarf shot with gold, noticed that the girl had the most beautiful light blonde hair. As Angel unwrapped the scarf, a red velour newsboy cap fell out of it. The hat must have gotten tangled in the scarf when it was put back on the shelf. Wait a minute, Angel thought, that cap was practically MEANT for that blonde! "Here," Angel said to the "tween," handing her the hat. "It has YOU written all over it." The girl loved the hat and bought it immediately. Angel smiled. She adored giving fashion help.

Next stop, the makeup desk. Angel examined the nail polishes for a while, attracting many stares, and finally found the perfect shade: a light semi-metallic blue. She bought it and left Club Libby-Lu. This color was just the one Angel had been looking for, and she just KNEW it would be her lifetime favorite.


	4. Maureen's Hot Time at Hot Topic

Chapter 4- Maureen's Hot Time at Hot Topic 

Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: This occurs at roughly the same time as the last chapter. BTW, see if you can spot the reference to another (non-RENT) musical in this chapter and tell me in a review.

Maureen left Joanne looking in the law section of Barnes and Noble and made her way to Hot Topic. On the way she passed Angel in Club Libby-Lu. Angel gave her signature pinky-wave by way of acknowledgement and went back to helping a "tween" girl choose the perfect shade of lip-gloss. Maureen chuckled to herself and entered the dimly lit Hot Topic whose stereo was pounding the lyrics "You belong to me, my snow white queen…"

Maureen didn't know the song but decided she liked it. She examined a pair of stylish pinstripes pants with a studded belt while a "baby-bat" with blue hair, fake bat wings, a black camisole top, a black mini-skirt, and tall black leather boots looked at a spiked choker with skulls. "Poser," Maureen hissed. The girl looked scandalized and flounced out of the section to look at some "Nightmare Before Christmas" thong underwear.

Soon, a shop assistant in a punk-rocker outfit with huge hair and enough piercings to set off every metal detector within a mile approached Maureen. "Need help?" asked the assistant between snaps of her chewing-gum. "Yeah," replied Maureen. "What was the song that was just playing?" "You've never heard 'Snow White Queen'?" the assistant queried incredulously, still snapping her gum, "It's by Evanescence." She indicated a display of copies of "The Open Door." Maureen checked the price: 18 dollars. Just how much she had with her.

"Thanks for the help," Maureen told the assistant. She just snapped her gum extra-loudly in response. This annoyed Maureen who couldn't ABIDE gum-chewers, especially gum-snappers. "I swear, if you pop that gum one more time…" "You'll what?" sneered the assistant, laughing cynically in response to Maureen's ensuing stutters and joined the "baby-bat" to help her choose underwear. Maureen bought the CD and left the shop, shoving the assistant (who HAD popped her gum MANY more times) hard with her shoulder as she went.


	5. Collins the Croc Hunter

Chapter 5- Collins the Croc Hunter

Disclaimer: It's not mine, and never was.

AN: This occurs at the same time as the last two chapters. See if you can guess which fictional character inspired the salesman.

Collins waved goodbye to Angel and started to windowshop. He passed a bookstall and paused to examine a display of copies of a book called _Computer-Age Philosophy and You_. Finally he spotted a small colorful kiosk. A closer look revealed that it sold clogs that appeared to be made of a sort of plastic in various garish colors.

"They're the absolute latest," gushed the salesman, a tall suave blond with blue eyes and an astonishingly white smile. "They're also some of the most comfortable and durable shoes on the market."

Collins looked at the shoes. They did look comfortable at least and the price seemed fair. He decided he liked the look of the shoes too: clunky clogs Swiss-cheesed with holed. The trouble was, which color would Collins like best: the lurid lime green or the orange the exact shade of a particularly overripe mango?

After careful consideration, the philosopher had finally made up his mind. "One pair of the orange clogs, please. Size 10." "Sure thing!" smiled the shopkeeper. Collins payed for the shoes and immediately put them on. He strutted along the walkway, a proud grin on his face. He definitely had the coolest footwear this side of Fifth Avenue.


	6. The Sharper Scarf

Chapter 6- The Sharper Scarf 

Disclaimer: It's not mine and never will be. Cries

AN: This happens about the same time as the last chapter.

Mark was on his own again. Sighing, he decided he'd see if maybe his scarf was somewhere in this crazy place. He had a hunch that it was bound to be. That was always what happened in the movies when the characters were in situations like this. It wasn't much of a possibility, but it was the only idea Mark had to go on. The next shop he passed would probably be as good a place to start as any.

As he finished this last thought, Mark noticed he was coming up on a store whose sign read "The Sharper Image" in small, neat letters. Noticing that the window was filled with all sorts of gadgetry he couldn't even identify, Mark walked in, figuring that even if his beloved scarf wasn't here, at least the place was interesting.

"Can I help you, sir," inquired a man in a very tailored charcoal-grey suit and a silver nametag with "Reuben" printed on it. He raised an eyebrow at Mark, possibly the scruffiest customer to ever set a battered-gym-shoe-clad foot in the shop. "Sure," Mark replied, not sure he liked the other man at all. "Do you have any scarves?" "Right this way."

Mark followed Reuben to a display table of soft-looking scarves in subdued colors. The table's sign announced that each was $75. Clearly, Mark's blue-and-white knitted wool scarf was not here. "Sorry, but these aren't what I'm looking for." "These are excellent for winter, sir. Made from a revolutionary moisture-wicking material and extremely warm," "Um…the scarf I'm looking for is wool." "Well, you certainly won't find that here," smirked Reuben. "May I show you anything else?"

"Yes," replied Mark, struck by a wonderful thought. This WAS a high-tech store, after all. "You sell cameras, right?" "Of course." Reuben led Mark to a long row of shelves with every kind of camera imaginable on display. There was only one problem: even with his extensive knowledge of cinematic technology, Mark couldn't figure out how these particular models worked.

"What kind of cameras are these?" Mark questioned Reuben. "Digital. Top of the range," replied Reuben in a superior tone of voice. "Bit behind the times, are you?" "Well," Mark answered, deciding he really did NOT like Reuben at all, "The one I have at home IS a little old. It's crank-operated..."

He stopped short, noticing that the suit-clad yuppie was actually rolling on the floor, beating the carpet with his fists and positively screaming with laughter. "It's not THAT funny," huffed Mark indignantly, leaving Reuben still wheezing with laughter. He exited the store, deciding he most DEFINITELY would NOT be coming back here.

After buying a soft, warm pretzel at Aunt Annie's, Mark slumped down on the nearest bench to eat it. He looked up to check the clock and jumped. It was 2:43. He quickly finished the pretzel and started toward the entrance to meet up with the others.


	7. Rockabye Benny

Chapter 7- Rockabye Benny

Disclaimer: RENT's not mine!

AN: This happens at the same time as the last chapter.

Benny was bored but on the bright side "Muffy" wasn't here with her yappy little Akita, Evita. He figured that as long as he was here he might as well shop. That was what you did at a mall, wasn't it? The first place he saw was called the Sleep Number Store. Benny thought he might as well check it out as long as he was here, but what on earth was a Sleep Number?

He went into the store and saw that it was filled with mattresses surrounded by assistants and signs saying "What's YOUR Sleep Number? Find out here." There was nothing else to do. Benny asked one of the assistants about the signs.

"Oh, it's really simple," replied the assistant, a Barbie-doll type with a perpetual smile plastered on her face. "You just lie down on the mattress and tell me which number is the most comfortable." Benny obliged, and the assistant pushed buttons on a small keypad. "Ow! I didn't think this mattress was supposed to be made of stone," yelped Benny. "That's only 15!" said the assistant. "Are you SURE that's too hard? A lot of people find it too soft!" Yes, I'm sure, you Barbie clone!" "Well! There's no need for name-calling, sir!" "She pressed another button. "Better?" she asked. She got no answer, though; Benny was snoring, sound asleep.

The assistant motioned for a waiting cameraman to come over. As he filmed, she narrated. "Sleep Number mattresses are so comfortable that, as you can see, many of our customers actually fall asleep on them…" When she had finished the rest of the narration, the cameraman left to film another customer.

Maureen, finished with her shopping spree, passed the shop. Wait! There was someone asleep on one of the mattresses! She couldn't believe her eyes. Benny, irascible, irritable Benny, had fallen asleep. She quickly called the others over into a huddle. "OK, Angel, you imitate that annoying ex-Akita, Evita. I'll see what else can be done."

They tiptoed over to Benny's mattress. Angel prepared to bark and Maureen bumped the ditzy assistant out of the way, picking up the keypad. "On three," Mimi counted off; "One, two, THREE!" Maureen set the Sleep Number to 30 and Angel yapped. "Noooooooooo!" yelled Benny, then "Ouch!" Finally, he noticed the others, who had clearly planned the whole thing. He glared. Angel stopped mid-yap and she and the others ran out of the store, Benny chasing after and threatening each of them in turn with everything from eviction to impalement.


	8. The Bus to Santa Fe

Chapter 8- The Bus to Santa Fe

Disclaimer: I've just checked, and it's still not mine.

AN: I know it's annoying when authors make characters from musicals sing in fanfics, but I couldn't resist in this chapter.

After Benny had calmed down, the other bohemians started a sort of show-and-tell. "Why don't the boys go first?" suggested Maureen, giving Mimi a conspiratorial wink. Roger was the first to display his purchase. It seemed he had gotten new sheet music for his guitar. Mark looked sheepish. "I couldn't find my scarf, and when I tried to shop for a new camera, I got laughed out of the store," he admitted. "The people at Hot Topic were absolute cows. I refused to support the obviously bourgeois mores of a shop like that and didn't get anything," lied Maureen. "Don't feel bad, Mark." "Uh…I pre-ordered a Sleep Number mattress," admitted Benny, reddening at the tought of the incident at that shop. Collins's new Crocs amused everyone, and Joanne had bought a boring-looking book called _The Law is the Law Because It's the Law_.

After the girls and Angel had admired the guys' and Joanne's purchases, Roger got an idea. "Hey!" he exclaimed, pointing at a ride called the Camp Bus in the Mall of America's small amusement park, "That looks fun. You guys want to try it?" Mimi knocked playfully on Roger's head. "Earth to Planet Roger! Any intelligent life out there? That's a kids' ride! Why would we go on that?"

"Uh, because it's fun?" Roger suggested. The others had to admit he had a point. It was fun to act immature sometimes. They were soon in line and then on the ride. A bunch of little kids (AN: I call these types "younglings" ala "Star Wars") in the back were singing "The Wheels on the Bus" nonstop, so Collins decided to put a stop to it.

"Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle," he sang. "Ooh! I like puzzles," chirped a little girl, stopping her song. "What's a metaphysic?" asked a little boy, also stopping mid-verse. "And I'm sick of grading papers, that I know. Let's open a restaurant in Santa Fe," Collins continued. "Sunny Santa Fe would be…nice." The others soon got caught up in the spirit of the song and even danced along, despite the ride operator's constant pleas to "keep their heads, hands, and feet inside the ride at all times."

Eventually, the operator stopped the ride to shoo the bohemians out, to their collective chagrin. "Hey! That WAS fun," Maureen declared. "Let's try a couple more!" Everyone agreed and started to look for a good choice.


	9. Mr Coffin's Wild Ride

Chapter 9- Mr. Coffin's Wild Ride

Disclaimer: Still not mine. GOSH! Get off my case, already! (JK : P)

AN: Adults really couldn't go on the ride described in this chapter. That's what makes it so fun!

"See you folks later, I'm going on the Timberland Twister!" said Benny in a confident voice. "Uh…OK," hesitated Mark, noticing that Benny was actually in the line for the Frog Hopper, a cute kiddie ride that bounced riders up to the top of the ride's small frame, then down very gently, eliciting squeals from the preteen girls sitting in the plastic frog-shaped seats.

Benny didn't start to get suspicious until he saw the plastic frogs. "Hey, man, are you sure you wanna go on this ride?" asked the ticket-taker, a long-haired teenage boy who seemed to find the idea of Benny on his ride highly amusing. "I think I can handle it," responded Benny in his usual cocky tone. "OK, pops, you got it. Find yourself a seat," smirked the boy.

The only seat left on the Frog Hopper was pink and had eyelashes. Flushing a bit at the resultant laughter and pointing from the younger riders and discreet snickers from their parents, Benny sat down and forced the tight harness over his too-big frame. He could barely breathe, but he figured he could handle it.

Soon the ride was underway, bouncing upward to delighted squeals and "whoooah"s from the giggly girls in the seats on either side of Benny. "Hey, this might not be so bad after all," he thought, caught up in the contagious mood of hilarity. Benny even brought both hands up along with the other riders on the way back down.

It wasn't until Benny got off the ride that he noticed the name emblazoned in huge letters across the front. "Frog Hopper?!" exclaimed Benny, "I thought this was the Timerland Twister!" "Well, you thought wrong, didn't you, pops?" snickered the ticket-taker and then added a sarcastic "Have a nice day!" at Benny's quickly retreating back.


	10. Carried Away by Balloon

Chapter 10- Carried Away by Balloon

Disclaimer: Still, still not mine!

AN: Again, an adult could not go on the ride described in this chapter. Free plushie character of your choice to anyone who can tell me which musical inspired the title and one line.

After Benny had had his accidental ride on the Frog Hopper, he fled to his friends in embarrassment. Mark and Roger were both doubled over, laughing. "It's not funny!" Benny defended. "I thought it was the Timberland Twister!" "Actually," Mimi pointed out, "the Twister's over there." She gestured toward the ride. "Well, I'm game," said Maureen. "What about you, Pookie?" Joanne looked uncomfortable. "Uh," she hesitated, "Well, that doesn't look like my kind of ride. I'll just look around and meet you guys back here."

The others joined the long line for the popular roller-coaster. Joanne walked around for a bit, exploring the amusement park and watching the other tourists, but then she spotted it: the perfect ride. After Mark, Mimi, Benny, Angel, Roger, and Maureen had finished their ride, Joanne was nowhere to be seen.

"This is weird," mused Maureen, "Joanne's never late!" After a short discussion, they decided to split up. While the others started off in groups, Mark went on his own. The most obvious place was a souvenir stand, he decided. After checking all of the souvenir stands, though, Mark was almost ready to give up. But wait a minute! That whooping was coming from the balloon ride! And it sounded kind of like…

"Joanne?" Mark was astounded. There Joanne was, sitting in a basket behind another one filled with what looked like a group of three-year-olds. Joanne was clearly having the time of her life, however. "Mark!" called Joanne, waving. Mark didn't know whether to laugh or bash his head against the nearest pillar. Joanne finally, mercifully, got out of her plastic hot-air balloon. "Hey, Mark," Joanne said, reaching her friend, "That ride's really fun! D'you want to try it?" "Uh, no, thanks," Mark said, trying to look a bit tempted by the offer. "The others are looking for you. We'd better go back now."

Joanne reluctantly followed him back towards the Timberland Twister, where the group was waiting. "Where was she?" asked Mimi. "Well," replied Mark, "she was on…" "Yeah…" Roger pried. "The balloon ride." Everyone burst out laughing, startling a nearby tourist's baby into bawling. "What can you say," shrugged Maureen, defending her girlfriend, "She got carried away."


	11. Bunny Trouble

Chapter 11- Bunny Trouble

Disclaimer: Do I really need to do this? OK, then, RENT isn't mine.

AN: This chapter is where the "crackfic" factor occurs. Also, a stuffed bunny I own actually DOES say "Somebunny loves you!" I did not make that up.

"So, what did you girls buy?" asked Roger, after the bohemians and Benny had finished laughing at the ludicrous idea of Joanne on the balloon ride. "Should we show them?" Mimi asked Maureen. "Sure. We showed you our stuff," Mark cut in. "Yeah, show us," added Roger. "Well, since you insist…" responded Mimi, whipping a huge pink stuffed rabbit dressed in a frilly pink tutu out of her bag.

Grinning evilly, she put it right in front of Roger's face and pressed a hidden button in its foot. "Somebunny loves you!" it chirped in a high, squeaky voice. "Gah!" Roger screamed, shoving it away, "Make it stop!"

"Stop doing what?" asked Mimi with a look of fake innocence, and then a look of mock comprehension, "Oh, this?" She pressed the button again. "Somebunny loves you!" the rabbit enthused again. Roger cringed, hiding behind Mark. Mimi snuck up behind Roger, startling him into jumping a foot off the ground with the resultant "Somebunny loves you!"

"Hey, Pookie!" called Maureen, tapping Joanne on the shoulder. Joanne looked very apprehensive, but obligingly turned around to face Maureen, who had a hand behind her back, her face in a wicked smirk to rival Mimi's. Before Joanne could even register what was going on, Maureen thrust a plush cow holding a miniature crescent moon at her, squeezing the moon. "Moo!" called the cow. Joanne quickly scurried to join Roger behind Mark, Maureen chasing her with the still-mooing cow as she went.

Angel wasn't paying attention to this whole ruckus, so it was with quite a bemused expression at the apprehensive looks of the others that she opened her bag. "What?" she asked, stupefied at the others' state of anxiousness, "All I got was this!" With that, she withdrew a teddy bear dressed as a fairy princess, complete with wings and wand. Angel cranked a small knob in the bear's back and the "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy" sounded from its hidden music box.

At the boys' and Joanne's sigh of relief, Mimi and Maureen once again snuck behind their backs, pressing their toys' hidden buttons and laughing uproariously at the resulting collective cringe. Maureen's cow gave one last "Moo!" as they headed for another section of the mall. However, Joanne soon put an end to these antics by snatching the cow out of Maureen's grasp, and Maureen pouted all the rest of the way to the next stop.


	12. One Song Glory?

Chapter 12- One Song Glory?

Disclaimer: I still can't seem to get my hands on anything to do with RENT (except for the CDs, DVD, RENT "Bible", a lapel pin, a Playbill, ticket stubs, and a scarf resembling Mark's)

AN: More crackfic goodness! My sister and her friend make an appearance in this chapter and, despite the way I portray her in this chapter and the following one, she is not an insane Mark fangirl. Happy soon-to-be birthday (Jan. 25th) Katharine!

"Hey, Roger, would you mind waiting here?" Mimi asked, "That is, unless you want to be seen in Victoria's Secret," she added with an impish smirk. "That's OK," Roger said, blushing a bit. "I'll wait for you." He went to sit at the nearest bench, glancing at the surroundings, and then doing a double-take.

Yes, he HAD read correctly! There was a small booth nearby with a sign over it reading "Make Your Own Music Video!" Past these cheap colored lights, Roger knew, there might be an actual chance for fame! He certainly wouldn't miss THIS opportunity! After seeing a tall, thin teenage girl with vivid red hair and a mischievous look leave the booth, Roger dashed inside. He didn't exactly know what to do, but when he figured he had the settings on a background he liked and the music on "original composition," he pressed the "begin" button. After a short countdown, Roger started to sing "Your Eyes," the song he had written for Mimi, as well as he could. When the tape was finished, Roger decided to wait for his girlfriend and surprise her with it.

Mimi soon came out of Victoria's Secret with a small bag. "Hey, Mimi," said Roger, "I got you something." He handed her the tape. "Good! There's a Sears!" Mimi pointed out. "We can probably watch it there." They went to the video section where Mark was being avidly watched by a girl with a brown ponytail wearing a brown Harry Potter t-shirt, jeans, and tall dark-red boots.

The girl was acting really strange, Roger noticed. Whenever Mark so much as glanced at her, she would blush and giggle! "Women," Roger thought, shaking his head. He and Mimi finally reached a tester VCR. Mimi eagerly popped in the tape. Roger couldn't help but be a little proud of himself. She would love this present. He was shocked, however, when he realized that Mimi and that other girl were laughing like hyenas!

To Roger's horror, the voice recording was good, but the background was not, as he had expected, a beautiful lake by moonlight. Instead, adorable, colorful ponies pranced across a grassy field under a pastel-blue sky with puffy clouds. To add to this monstrosity, the message that appeared at the end was not Roger's "I Love You" to Mimi, but "Happy Birthday, Katharine!" "Katharine?" Mimi asked, stopping her laughter and rounding menacingly on Roger. "Who is Katharine?" "I swear I don't know!" Roger cowered as Mimi began to beat him over the head with her purse. "Why, you…" she began swearing in Spanish and chasing Roger out of the store, still smacking him with the purse. Mark followed, trying to stop the fight. In the ruckus, the tape had been forgotten, and no one saw the brunette pocketing it.


	13. The Search for the Scarf

Chapter 13- The Search for the Scarf

Disclaimer: For the LAST time, RENT is NOT, repeat, NOT mine!

AN: I make an appearance in this chapter, and Katharine is back to wreak more havoc on poor Mark. This is the end of the story, and I appreciate all readers who have stuck with it thus far. It is my first story, and not very good, so thank you all for your patience, and a special shout-out to MissxFlawless for all her wonderful reviews.

Finally, Mark managed to calm the furious battle between Roger and Mimi, sustaining many painful blows from the latter's purse in the process. Now, the group was seated in the foodcourt reflecting on their adventure. "Well, that was fun," Joanne affirmed. "Yeah, it was," Benny agreed, "But shouldn't we be heading back now?" "How're we going to do that?" asked Maureen.

"Well, I have a sort of idea," offered Mark hesitantly, "It's just a hunch, but I think I have to get my scarf back." "Why am I not surprised?" asked Roger sarcastically. Joanne gave Roger a silencing look. "If that's what we have to do, then we'll ALL," she glared at Roger, "help." "Let's not split up again," Mark advised. "We'll just get lost. I'll look alone and meet you back here." The others nodded.

Alone again, Mark started his search. His favorite scarf wasn't in Sears, Abercrombie and Fitch, or American Eagle, nor was it in Urban Outfitters or in any other clothing shop. Mark was about to sit down for a while and plan his next move when he felt himself being grabbed tightly from behind by someone he couldn't recognize. Security must have busted him for singing on the Camp Bus! What would happen now? Would he have to pay a fine? Be arrested? He couldn't go to jail in the future!

Mark was looking for an escape route when he saw something blue-and-white out of the corner of his eye. He realized in a minute that a short girl with shaggy red-blonde hair and glasses similar to his own was wearing something that was unmistakably…"My scarf!" exclaimed Mark, pushing aside the brunette, who had apparently followed him from Sears and had him in a stranglehold.

He chased after the blonde, catching up with her when she stopped to check out a display of the latest Dead Can Dance CD. "Excuse me," he addressed the girl, "You seem to be wearing my scarf." "This?" she asked, puzzled, "Can't be! I just bought it at that shop…" Before she could indicate which shop she meant, Mark grabbed his scarf off her neck and ran. "Ow!" He had tripped and now that girl was gaining. She was sure to catch up to him! She reached out to reclaim the scarf and…FLASH!

There was a brilliant light and Mark was blinded for a moment. When his eyes returned to normal, he saw not the mall, but his own loft! The whole group was there, all looking stunned. They were back! "Well," commented Collins, "that was certainly an adventure." No one could deny that this was the truth. "If that was an adventure, I'm up for another one!" enthused Maureen. She went into the wardrobe and groped around for a minute. "The back's just wood," she told the others, disappointed. "Well, maybe next time the adventure will find us," suggested Roger. The others nodded. They spent the rest of the evening wondering and discussing where they would find themselves the next time it did.


End file.
